My dad sat me down to have the 'when are you moving back' conversation. The answer is and has continued to be 'never' for the past three years.
His methods of persuasion:
1. It has been three years and nothing has happened acting wise.
2. My neighborhood is not a safe place. (He researched crime in the area.)
3. With all of the mass shootings happening, Los Angeles is far more likely to be targeted than Alexandria, Kentucky.
A fact that I have actually taken into consideration lately.
I am sure many of my friends have had this same conversation. Makes every family gathering spicy with disappointment. Theirs and ours.
But I learned something important in that conversation.
I am happy.
So very happy with the things I am doing in Los Angeles that fear can not remove me. Not the fear of getting shot and not the much greater fear of upsetting my father. There was not a moment that I even considered the idea of moving back to appease him.
Why am I so happy in Los Angeles?
The sucker punch that will always be reminding someone that they are not exactly where they want to be in the entertainment industry didn't hurt as much as it made me wish he understood.
Has anyone out there found a concise way of explaining that their love for comedy and performing doesn't really have a foreseeable time table?
So I'm happy.
If I wasn't happy I would probably have gone back to Kentucky by now.
Unless I am running from something.
Which is possible.
But it feels like happiness.
Maybe I'm happily running.
I don't know.
Maybe the fear of giving up is the fear that's driving me now.
Are we always driven by what we are most afraid of?
"If you're going to be afraid, fear the thing that will only use that fear to make you better."
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